supp paper for maths n engine fund.confirm

if not at least GPA 1.0 for these two frigging subjects.well done firdaus

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

do you believe that there are some things in life we cant achieve?only for the reason that we are meant for greater things?

well, let me explain. I also strive very hard in npcc to be the chairperson of dmn npcc unit but of course i didnt get it. n then, 3 years down the road. Im area 8 CI chairman.and even bigger responsibility. maybe the same thing is happening now, im gonna be in charge of the supporting contingents or guard turnout so that I will be able to move on something big. just maybe i shd think of it as a a stepping stone. oh well...

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

I have limits dammit.

Does everyone think I can take people's shit for almost everyday?
Yeah..I can listen to your problems.But what it comes to the other way...who the hell can I talk to?who the hell truly helps me?

I want someone who can listen and APPRECIATE the magnitude of my problems like I do for others.

and careful...no one has ever seen me angry.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Here's something

What my name means...

"Paradise". It constitutes the highest level of celestial bliss (spiritual perception). The word is of Persian origin. (Qur'an 18:107; 23:11)

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

haiyooo.

everyone's bugging me to study.

1st zeera n then raidah n now my mom. goodness. relax laah. especially my mom.

anyway..Ive been having vivid dreams these past few nights. When I wake up, I cant recall any of them but this one was most interesting. I dreamt that I defeated this nemesis. cant recall who but its not anyone from real life. When I woke up...I felt alive like I havent been in months. weird huh?

Congratulations to all my o lvl buddies who got their 1st choice!...those in TP AMS, welcome to TP engine! haha


right. here are some thing I need to focus on.

my exams.
fix my work schedule
npcc schedule
GUARD TURNOUT. I really really really want it lehh.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Ah. im feeling high. as a result of zeera's com and her high hormone level and her guy madness. as you all know, im gay. hahaha. I found the two songs Ive been trying to find for hours. sheesh. and to think the artists were those I already know. MOBY n COLDPLAY!.WTF LAAH! ohh and trust me, the song beats are nice.

Clocks-Coldplay

Lights go out and I can't be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
You've put me down upon my knees
Oh I beg, I beg and plead (singing)

Come out of things unsaid, shoot an apple of my head (and a)
Trouble that can't be named, tigers waiting to be tamed (singing)
You are, you are

Confusion never stops, closing walls and ticking clocks (gonna)
Come back and take you home, I could not stop, that you now know (singing)
Come out upon my seas, curse missed opportunities (am I)
A part of the cure, or am I part of the disease (singing)

You are [x6]
And nothing else compares
Oh no nothing else compares
And nothing else compares

You are [continues in background]
Home, home, where I wanted to go [x4]

____________________________________________________________________

just a short song

moby-porcelain

In my dreams I'm dying all the time
As I wake its kaleidoscopic mind
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to lie

So this is goodbye
This is goodbye

Tell the truth you never wanted me
Tell meIn my dreams I'm jealous all the time
As I wake I'm going out of my mind
Going out of my mind

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

someone asked

"What is one thing about yourself that you are proud of? something that no one else has."

simple.


I fight. I learn. I grow


If you truly knew me...im a real fighter at heart. If you think im so clever or so skillful then it all comes down to my past. Im born a nobody. I was born with no special quality. THAT is what makes me different. Ever heard of the saying i look older than my age? yes everyone. im literally older than my age. be it in my heart or face.

Even now i keep fighting. I fight for what I want. I learn from what I see,hear or feel and I grow from it.


and then the 2nd question was

"what are you most disappointed in?"


I said one word.

everyone

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

ok so ive done a survey of the bikes

and ive narrowed it done to two choices.


GT avalanche 1.0 : $950
GT avalanche 3.0 : $550

ok wait hold dat thought. I know most of you are thinking "go for the 550 one la. cheaper what".haha. see? im psychic also like zeera. anyway,

1.0 series contains

- disk brakes ( that's what makes it so expensive although i duno how my bro got his one at $700 plus)

-wheels. i cant remember what its classified under but its those thick ones dat 1.0 series have.

- material. For one thing, 1.0 series are either made of aluminium or steel alloy. cant be so sure

3.0 series contains

err..shit. i forgot what it contains. oh well...im gonna go back to the shop tmr anyway.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

If only I saw this early on, how different would things be?

I'm blind I know.

But even you're so diminished. Id wish for nothing more for the old sparks because it reminded me of my own self.

I should have seen and felt earlier.Im sorry

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

hoookaay. some things i need to get done

1) NPAP schedule
2) npcc schedule
3) calculator
4) study!
5) letter for CMPB
6) exercise
7) haircut
9) save up to get my rod
10) a bike ( im tired of walking around the neighbourhood.lol)
11) contact lens solution
12) plan work time


and of course my friends.


Speaking of friends, Ive realised EVERYONE and I mean ALL MY FRIENDS have been diminished as of late. My post o lvl friends, my poly friends,my npcc fellow CIs, my former sec sch classmates and everyone else.

haiyo.

They're all running low on inspirations or just stressed.


My post O lvl friends are all lethargic coz of no exercise,no work or poor paying jobs or missing their own classmates ( I'm making them sound old by saying that.haha)

My poly friends are all getting burnt out.

My fellow CIs ( be it at HQ or dunman) are all pissed off by our own cadets.

My former sec sch classmates are facing the same thing as my poly classmates.


what about me? oh im just sitting here hopeless because im the ONLY one in this situation. Im like the only active CI in dunman who's schooling.The only 5b-ian who's in october intake n in the first semester of poly life. The only person who has a good job which he can go back to.

Think im having the time of my life?no im not. because others arent

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

I trust none but myself.


I alone hold the secret to my own future. my own destiny.


Why must I listen to others and let them sway me? Their advices have NEVER worked. Besides, it has always been against my code of ethics or beliefs.

So be it

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

oh ya


1) powerpoint for wrtoral
2) effcom discussion board
3) letter for CMPB


shit

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

WOOH!..dat was one long previous entry.

A good start.

My last project of the semester is almost done and its probably gonna be the best project I've ever done. Cheers to engineering drawing! haha.

Im getting better and more stronger. Alhamdullilah.

I seem to be getting taller. I think.haha

DUNMAN NPCC UNIT HAS FINALLY GOT UOPA GOLD AFTER 5 YEARS!. YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!.

THIS IS SUPERB!...REALLY SUPERB!. Now till the end of 2010, I will do everything in my power to make sure we will attain that gold again till we achieve the unit excellence award.

aiyah...they're gonna wear 1st uniform at this year's npcc annual parade. hmm... I BETTER WEAR ALSO LEHHH!!!!.

I WILL FIGHT FOR THE GUARD TURNOUT POSITION OR WHATEVER!!! I WANT IT ALL!. Insya-Allah I will get it.

Thank you Allah for answering my prayers and giving my unit the gold award, helping me make the right decision to leave law, helping me get into BZE,helping me with the drill competition,becoming area chairman and so much more.Amin.


ahh...no other song can depict my mood other than

Alter Bridge-Metalingus

Go hear it on Imeem. Im lazy to put it here.

I've been defeated and brought down
Dropped to my knees when hope ran out
The time has come to change my ways

On this day I see clearly everything has come to life
A bitter place and a broken dream
And we'll leave it all, leave it all behind

I'll never long for what might have been
Regret won't waste my life again
I won't look back
I'll fight to remain:

On this day I see clearly everything has come to life
A bitter place and a broken dream
And we'll leave it all, leave it all behind

On this day its so real to me
Everything has come to life
Another chance to chase a dream
Another chance to feel Chance to feel alive
Fear will kill me, all I could be
Lift these sorrows
Let me breathe, could you set me free
Could you set me free

On this day I see clearly everything has come to life
A bitter place and a broken dream
And we'll leave it all behind

On this day its so real to me
Everything has come to life
Another chance to chase a dream
Another chance to feel Chance to feel alive.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Okay I know my posts have been very err...what's the word to use. alah, i leave it to those few of you who know this blog exists. heh


Right. Here goes.random post


I am old. turning 19 this year. which explains why i can be so serious or oh-so philosophical. (heh..just like ms farah said in my journal 2 years ago). Im gonna realise 2 years of frustration here. So my advice to anyone reading this, please dont read anymore if it offends you at any point. I will do my utmost best to make this unoffending despite my vocabulary and I wont hold out against you if you're gonna spew something at my tagboard ( just say nicely can lah. not like some idiot at vilvian's tagboard)


my creed of life:
THROW ME TO THE SHARKS I SAY! AND LET ME SWIM. LET RESCUE COME ONLY WHEN I ASK FOR IT.

Elaboration:
How long can I stay in school and assume life is all okey-dokey? THAT'S CHILD'S PLAY LAH!...2 weeks of working at mandarin oriental has thought me painful lessons. Its not that i got scolded badly or what. But its the solid truth of life that hit me hard. Life is never easy but on the other hand, stop thinking you're getting the tough side of life and things will be fine. Id rather not be in school from the start. Id rather struggle in the world like those kids in Africa because it WILL make me a stronger person before my time is up.I'll even learn to appreciate the things around me,like having a computer, even more.

BUT


Dont bite off more than you can chew. We all have our limits right? We got to balance our own life carefully. We need people around us to help us. A leader needs his subordinates. A president needs his minister and chief of staff. A parent needs his/her children. An old man needs his rest. A boy needs to play. A quiet person needs to talk.

If any of the above doesnt make sense, this will. trust me.

HERE's the BITCY ALTER EGO OF ME.

1) im pretty frustrated with some of my friends. On one hand i got those people who play too much. On the other, i got those who study like SIAO!. I know what most of you might be thinking.Perhaps their own lives are balanced as well? they study in school but play at home OR they play in school or study at home? If thats the case, im fine with it. BUT that ISNT the problem.

In my business fund project group, I got a whole bunch of lazy people. They dont bother about it at all. I can assign them work but they wont do. I msg,call,email and chase after em but no work done. typical of groupmates huh? how can a leader function with shithead mates? he cant do all the bloody work. He's gotta delegate it so dat its fair and balanced to everyone.

Next, my lecture groups. We have those loudmouths who talk-talk-talk loudly all day long. ITS THE BLOODY LECTURE LAH!...People come here to study and pay attention and there you go noisily talking ur asses off. I dont care if you talk softly. just make sure I can hear the lecturer.
If a brawl ever comes out, I can imagine this

" OI SHUTUP AH!"
"WHAT? GOT PROBLEM AH?'
"YAH. I COME HERE TO LISTEN BUT YOU TALK SO LOUD TILL I CANNOT HEAR. MY PROBLEM IS WITH YOU"

Trust me. I wont be surprised if my whole class backs me up. All of us get pissed off almost all the time bcoz of these bozos. There's a time and place to talk and dats not in the lecture theatre. thanks!


Moving on

Something happened yesterday that JUSTIFIED my withdrawal from law.

This was on msn. Im La Gazza Ladra btw.


2/2/2008
3:50:07 PM
[c=65][c=58][c=3][c=50][b]Chap[/b][/c]™[/c] #5[/c] Porcupine[/c]
La Gazza Ladra
u wanna write the sob2 ting?
2/2/2008
3:50:11 PM
[c=65][c=58][c=3][c=50][b]Chap[/b][/c]™[/c] #5[/c] Porcupine[/c]
La Gazza Ladra
haha we make it damn obvious ah
2/2/2008
3:50:11 PM
[c=65][c=58][c=3][c=50][b]Chap[/b][/c]™[/c] #5[/c] Porcupine[/c]
La Gazza Ladra
u want?
2/2/2008
3:50:16 PM
[c=65][c=58][c=3][c=50][b]Chap[/b][/c]™[/c] #5[/c] Porcupine[/c]
La Gazza Ladra
anyway who want back up for them leh
2/2/2008
3:50:21 PM
[c=65][c=58][c=3][c=50][b]Chap[/b][/c]™[/c] #5[/c] Porcupine[/c]
La Gazza Ladra
u and me gang up they have no say liao
2/2/2008
3:50:43 PM
[c=65][c=58][c=3][c=50][b]Chap[/b][/c]™[/c] #5[/c] Porcupine[/c]
La Gazza Ladra
eh shit.. sala orng.. hahahaha sorry2!!


dat was asyraf. one of my law classmates. Thanks for dat piece of info and I know how scared you're feeling now. Afraid I might expose you? nah. I dont need to. Everyone in law likes to pakat here n there. There's few decent people I know in law anyway. Those like fatin, liying and gerald.Poor liying and gerald. They were too stressed to ever had much happiness around these goons. At least Fatin's hanging in there.

Some kind of friends you are.


ONE LAST THING TO BITCH ABOUT.

DONT GO COMPLAINING ABOUT SOMETHING SO SMALL AND MAKE IT A FUSS. GROW UP LAH!

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

KL WORLD FUTSAL 5'S.


Best ever match i saw in futsal. Argentina Vs Thailand.

A real pleasure. better than sex. although i duno how it feels like having sex.HAHA!

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

BASKET!

THEY'RE GONNA SEND ANOTHER WARNING LETTER. I BETTER GET IT BEFORE MY MOM DOES SIA.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

IM TOO WEIRD TO LIVE BUT MUCH TOO RARE TO DIE

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

If we were all the kings and queens
I'd probably be your only servant in this world

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