The chrysallis is open.
The cocoon is broken.

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to someone a lot worse than you thought. haha.
No predictable, pathetic jejune here. wont be entertained.

Now, its time to play

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

something to whoop about.

MINISTRY OF FINANCE and one other ministry (cant remember which ministry mentioned) proposed an amendment to the Civil Act regarding the registry of businesses. The legal age for starting is 18!

WOOHOOOO!!!!!!

LETS JUST HOPE THIS AMENDMENT IS APPROVED BY PARLIAMENT AND THEN THE PRESIDENT!

apart from that, the legal minimum age for directors is now 18! *another whoop!*. so all that's left is to deal with any other legal issues. heh. being in law for six months sure has helped alot more than I thought.

BUT BUT BUT

I dont want sole proprietorship. no chance for expansion and its not what I'd like to do.
so anyway, back to qmethod. gonna overdrive again for the next 48 hours

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/afp/20080825/tts-oly-2008-weather-c1b2fc3.html

whoa.rain-making and prevention technology. call me jakon but how could rockets prevent rainfall?

----

its a small start
but lets keep going
because I still
so please dont run

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

sharp knock to the head.
now I know.

I'm not gonna walk away from this.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

SIALA! IS MY HOUSE A HAVEN FOR HORNETS OR AM I TURNING INTO HORNET-MAN!

this time they came into the kitchen. yupp...they. because there were TWO this time. I think there's a hornet's nest around in one of the trees around the carpark.

but I doubt NEA or HDB will do something bout it. those trees are freaking high. been there since I was born sia.

so anyway, hornets aside. maths paper later at 1900. first exam in the night. like finally! I'm tired of morning and afternoon exams.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

I've officially gone into overdrive. as of now, I've stayed awake for 30 straight hours.

and it feels,



AWESOME!

somehow cramming up the business planning, ironman training, studying and area 8 meetings seem to be creating a positive effect compared to the time where I would just sit on my belly and grow sideways everyday.

oh and speaking of area 8 meetings,

EVERY MEETING SHOULD BE LIKE TODAY'S MEETING! SO DAMN PROUD OF ALL OF YOU!

lets make ATC superb shall we!

edited at 7am

what would have been a great start to the morning turned sour. why?

COZ OF THAT HORNET FLYING AROUND IN THE TOILET WHILE IM BATHING

Ive been stung by a wasp before but I heard a hornet is worse. when a wasp stings you, its so excruciating that you cant even say 'OW!'. oh maybe that's because the wasp stung me at MY NECK right on the nervous system. what more a hornet!

finally got rid of it sia

oh and I can FINALLY GO ON MSN USING THIS COMPUTER! im tired of using ebuddy liao

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

found out something that would have horrified the Firdaus years ago.
I suppose thats why that song is still playing in my blog.

"And I'm a million different people from one day to the next"


gotta stop blogging in wee hours of the morning. its giving me brain damage. Im old enough as it is.
------

my fault. really.
lets pick up from where we stopped

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

so frederico is searching for me. but why does the prospect of communicating with an autistic-dyslexic guy seem unnerving?

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

now I'm seriously beginning to doubt.
something must have gone wrong

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

first accomplisment for the day- STUDIED!


is it real? oh yeah. its damn real. I STUDIED SIA!. *applause*

with adventure training camp organising, job hunting, business planning and what more, it's incredible that I studied

however, it seems I may need to put my boat license course on hold because i still havent got my pay and the course spreads over a period of two months, one of which spreads into fasting month.






like I entered another world with you

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

every single moment today = a reminder of how really fragile everything is


anyway, I was looking through MUIS website regarding some khutbas or sermons and then this one (12 may 2000) caught my eye.

"Let it be known that the most challenging and testing stage of one's life is the youth."

and this hadith

"strive for your life in the hereafter as if you will die tomorrow"
"strive for your life on earth as if you will live forever"

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

SINGAPORE FIREWORKS FESTIVAL 2008!

aug 22-23

im not gonna miss this one
-----------------------------

edited again

MY CROC GOT CAUGHT LAST NIGHT AT 330AM! now im pissed off again. I should have followed my feelings to go fishing that night! dammit! @&$%^!#

edited AGAIN!

Corpse kept standing even in death
http://sg.news.yahoo.com/ap/20080820/twl-puerto-rico-standing-wake-1be00ca.html

very very err...*insert your own adjective/noun/verb*

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

im old. but that's not the point.
its what I've been doing that matters and as of late, I havent been in overdrive.


not anymore.

so for starters,(other than the business plan) another private project is gonna start up.

EDITED AT 620AM

WOOO! I was just about to fall asleep when I suddenly realised the proper technique of kicking dead balls! I'm fucking nuts thinking about this sort of thing just before falling asleep and I actually switched on the com just to blog about it.

EDITED AT 620PM!

necessity is the mother of invention.

right?

with that in mind, the brain exploded into view a different idea. anyway, the point is, besides the original business plan, how bout another idea?and then, merge them TOGETHER! I dont plan on telling the others JUST yet.

-----------------

An adrenaline rush
followed by the same sensation that you're here

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

ONE day.

just ONE day away from our busy schedules and upcoming exams.

please?

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

I missed the sighting of Mars back in 2003(i think its 2003) and a moon eclipse in 2000. but an eclipse happened tonight!

I always thought eclipses are short. over in like 2-3 mins.haha. its a whole lot longer lah. the eclipse of the moon started at around 330 when it was a full moon. by 4am, half of the moon was covered.at 530, only can see a bit. now at 6am, the moon is coming back out. around half of it is back out.

damn nice actually.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Are we so caught up in everything else till the good things pass us by?

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

LI JIAWEI, FENG TIANWEI AND WANG YUEGU BEAT SOUTH KOREA

WHICH MEANS SINGAPORE ARE CONFIRMED FOR A SILVER MEDAL AT THE OLYMPICS SINCE 1960

OMFG!

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Have you ever seen
How beautiful things can ever be
How they are incredibly stupefying in their simple nature
How it beautifies everything around them.


I have never seen such a thing like that until today

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

PISSED OFF

I dreamt I was fishing last night and there was this grouper swimming around. GODDAMIT! A GROUPER!. AND I DIDNT CATCH IT!

the only big fish I ever caught in my entire life is a seabass. as long as my forearm.

BUT I WANT TO CATCH A GROUPER!

LIKE THIS ONE!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/damp/2408521070/

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

I just remembered something.

its been over a year since I dropped out from law.
Best decision of my entire life. really.

TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE
*ZOOM BACK TO APRIL 2007*

ahh, law days. everyday a long day even though you're surrounded with friends because I missed the wonderful days of 5B'06. coupled with fucked up things here and there. like they said

"you never know what you got till its gone."

and how rightly so. its almost as if a part of me died sia. I never really got along with some people in law who clearly adapted to poly life SO SUPER DUPER GODDAMN FAST LIKE FUCK! because we're all so different to the extent we cant comprehend everyone's difficulties, background, experience or even social norms.

Everday you drag your feet to school and just hope the day goes past as fast as possible with minimal effort and each moment you try to find something to get you going just to overcome the task at hand. You think of nothing but getting this day over and done with as fast as possible.

Life was never meant to be lived dat way. you cant waste away every single day out of stress.

In retrospect, one would laugh off these things because he is stronger than he was before but turn the clock and imagine all the tough times. GODDAMN, I USED TO REMEMBER HOW PISSED OFF I WAS WITH EDWINA EVERYDAY! HAHAHA. but now, I realised how right she has been all along. I'm still indebted to her and all the useful things she's taught me. even my classmates from time to time. as paralegals or lawyers, they have qualities I could like. fortunate to have met these people really.

oh ya zeera, I think you know kimberly from TPiranhas Roar. She was my law classmate.

Cant believe Im actually relishing those bad times. but hey, that's what makes people stronger right? things can only get worse before they can get better!

I wonder Mr J is doing. He's gone back into practising law but now as a senior deputy public prosecutor. just saw his name in the newspapers last month or so when prosecuting someone about a rape case.

Gerald also went out of law and went to BSG. now in year 2 also. and Saron has also followed his footsteps.

so anyway, a huge but very calculated risk. quit law and risk being called for NS or stay and suffer needlessly without learning as best as you can.

Its either 'kill myself and be reborn again" or " live on and suffer". and so going against EVERYONE'S will

I handed the withdrawal form on the 1 August 2007.

and back to those days of slacking with nothing to do.

*Zoom back to the present*

19th OCTOBER I WAS OFFERED. AND SCHOOL STARTED ON 21ST OCTOBER!. I think I'm the very last person to be offered a place in BZE sia. haha. how fortunate!

Thank God for choosing this course for me. I used to remember how disappointed I was on 19th October when I was offered a place in BZE. heh.
Trusting to what was best and taking another calculated risk, I clicked the ACCEPT button.

now, its 3 more days to end of school and how bittersweet this first year in BZE. so wonderfully blissful.

and now I'm a whole lot better than I was before.

and then most surprisingly, this quote(more fucked up quotes again!) cropped up in my brain. it sums up my whole life so far.

"AIYAH FAIL NOW ALSO NVM! NOBODY FAILS ALL THE TIME WHAT!"

I'm definitely going to have a lot of DRASTIC FAILURES in the future. especially with the business but so be it. I LOVE IT!

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

finally a restful night. and all that was needed was just a little soul-searching. -.-

Before I begin, IVE GOT TO REALLY APPLAUD TAO LI FOR A DAMN GOOD PERFORMANCE. sure everyone was disappointed but hey, 5th in an OLYMPICS final and you're only 17? dats something rare ok. REALLY WELL DONE! and I plan to do the same in years to come. now THAT'S a passion re-ignited.


So anyway, its the last week of school and I'm thankful BZE is the course for me. I havent regretted joining since day one.

Qmethod class is over. a subject about statistics sounds boring but its dreadfully fun for me. sarching for values amidst those maths tables, calculating confidence levels and all has been blissful really.

Econs class is over. It has been nothing but fruitful since 22nd April 2008 and its one of the subjects thats gonna help us for the entire business. Econs boring? NEVER. but prepare for a long hard but joyful slog. hear that raidah??

Leadership is over. its been only six months and WHAT A RIDE. the stress is there but when its all over, you're ten times stronger than you were before.To put everything in words wouldnt do it justice but i have to write one of the quotes that Ms Chan got for us. I changed it because Id like to see it this way.

Maths2 is over. hahaha. MATHS! siala, the only subject where I get late notices. heh. but its definitely so much more easier than maths1. all thanks to Ms Jilian and Lam-kua. damn good tutors really.

System Concepts is over. well well, the subject that started it all. the subject that began the whole thing. and I dont suppose it will ever end. truly life-changing.

"WELCOME TO THE GAME OF BOOMERANGS!"


and here's something from Barely Political.

Mccain:you're an asshole

Huckerby:WHY?

Mccain:BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD FOR THE REST OF THE DAY. THAT'S WHY!

yes my dear mccain. I know how you feel.hahaha.
wah lau ehh, the wind is howling so damn loud against my window that it actually makes a sound that combines both howling and whistling. even the front door keeps vibrating. and to think my bed is next to the window and less than a metre away from the front door. damn

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

this day was going to come. it always has but what I never expected was for it to be inevitable.

like I said, a price to pay and a ramification later.
damage is done.
for good or for worse

what a difference a day makes now and forever.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

After reading that, I have to say this

" A million thoughts properly placed in one word is one step closer "
" A feeling passed on without words is a world combined "


I'm becoming more philosophical day by day. and this proves one thing,


IM SO OLD THAT IM GETTING OLDER BEYOND MY AGE!

even the SUFC players thought I was an adult. BUT DARREN THOUGHT I WAS MARRIED SIA! #$!%@

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

HOLY CRAP!

I JUST REALISED THAT IVE BEEN PROGRESSING BACKWARDS NOT FORWARD!.

either that or the cough syrup is making me say or think stuff unintended. @#!$%
oh and here's some random stuff everyone's been making such a big fuss about.

my eyes.
nonono, its not that oh-so-pretty like wentworth miller or what. its the degrees.

left eye: 1100
right eye:1300 i think?

go on. swear out loud! haha

i didnt do anything ok. its just that my eyes have been like this since i was born. when i was in pri 1, my right eye was already 550 degrees.

now here's a dare. who'd like to try on my specs for ONE WHOLE DAY AND NOT TAKE THEM OFF AT ALL?!

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

I AM FREE IN EVERY WAY! =)

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

With effect from today (6th August 2008), management has approved all simei united youth players to be placed under sponsorship scheme in all football league or tournaments. sponsorship will expire upon the youth player reporting for national service.

Report to all saturday league games this season.

well well, this has REALLY made matters more complicated.
I've got to consider this very carefully.


added on at 4.15 am

this is my routine. sleep at 3.30 am but ending up staying awake till 4 or 5 plus tossing and turning on my bed because my mind is wide awake.

I only fall asleep when my body needs to. heh. back in sec school days, I actually FOCUSED on going to sleep.

like I said previously, im a ticking time bomb. Now it seems my mind overwhelms my body too much and its screaming in protest. ive had 4 hours of sleep everyday since this term began and Ive always managed to shut off the constant need to sleep or eat properly.

that's where I went wrong i guess.

on the other hand, there's tons of things that my mind gets to work on every night.

school, friends, work, the business plan, SUFC, ironman training, npcc, TFG ( wah siala, it looks alot when I type it out) and now frederico is added on.




BUT NONE OF THAT COMPARES TO WHAT NEVER FAILS TO BUG ME!

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

i may be sick today but there was a pleasant surprise waiting for me in the newspaper.










CROCODILE SPOTTED AT TAMPINES RIVER CANAL/ SUNGAI TAMPINES.
WOOOO!

IF I WASNT SICK, I'D SCOUR THE WHOLE PARK CONNECTOR LOOKING FOR IT. somehow I feel lucky because there's countless times back in 2003 to 2005 where I went fishing in that area by the water's edge. heh. he could have jumped out, dragged me into the water and made me his dinner.

and all those crazy times where we jumped off Sungai Api-Api bridge into the river. HAHA. good times good times.I hope Im lucky enough to catch a glimpse of him tmr.

oh dear crocodile, if you're reading this, please dont go away. do your best to avoid the PUB and NEA officers so I can see you before you're gone.

but then again, he's at sungai tampines. and the mangrove swamp there is REALLY big.

WHO WOULD LIKE TO GO CROCODILE HUNTING TOMORROW WITH ME? =)

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

More self-realisation.

Ive found out he's dyslexic. A condition that makes it difficult for a person to read( write also?). now it all REALLY comes down to this moment. I cant fathom how real those threats will turn out to be but he's growing and its a critical stage for him.

and he REALLY is like that kid in taare zameen par.
Both have fantastic drawings. Both have interests different with that of other kids (he goes crabbing like me). and both seem to be a pain in the ass.

so its more important than ever a close eye is kept on him.
its nothing to do with nobility or showing what a good person we are because I dont believe in any of that crap. Everyone would probably tell me to leave him alone bcoz its not my job but here's the thing...

why should we give up on those who give up on us?

Amidst all that, I still wonder why I bear this on myself.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

While talking to md about the business plan, I suddenly realised the biggest flaw of it all.


We're already beaten by 5 years!
But then again...there's no right time to start. only the right frame of mind.

so anyway, I made a promise to myself to blog about failures. haha. dont ask me but there's the ulterior motive behind it.

For the first time in my life in TP, I failed a test! WOOHOO!.
qmethod test.


11.5/50


HAHAHA! at least I beat Zul by 1/2 mark!
nvm Zul you can beat me next time by a larger margin.
somehow I feel remotely unabashed. heh.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

between 3 to 4am is when my mind suddenly becomes super-active in self-realisation or realisation of other stuff.


its like a ticking time bomb. one minute im thinking of one stuff and then im thinking of another. like KEBABOOOM! a thought and then BOOOM AGAIN! another thought. and then here's one thing I realised


no wonder everyone's got problems and I think I finally begin to understand why.it's all making sense now

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

What a blessed weekend. =)


saturday: skipped the NCO course to 'prepare' for Leadership test which was okok except for the last part. tsk.need to pull up my socks liao. after that had to meet Venus regarding my status.

everything okay liao. im free =)

then went to aiport to study with md but ended up doing something else. no, dont get any wild ideas here.

sunday: played the first match for thunderbolt stallions against winven fc. played centre midfield which felt like home to me. i dunno why. the wings are usually my place but this time the centre was where I felt so damn comfortable.
I think im not meant to score goals also.
I had a total of 3 shots. one hit the post and went out. another one was way of target. the last one was saved by the gk. sheesh. reminds me of what Cesc Fabregas said about his penchance for not scoring.


'its either I hit the post, the goalkeeper makes a spectacular save or I miss wildly in front of the gaping goal'


me and another guy were challenging for the ball near the corner line. I just tapped him lightly behind his thigh and he crumpled to the ground like he's dying while I ran off with the ball. turns out later he had a large scrap wound or something.

"you see this?(shows wound) I like this already and you wanna kena me. go go go. fuck off fuck off( slaps my helping hand away)."

haha. what an ass. you expect me to know you're wounded and not challenge you for the ball. serves you right fool.

so anyway, back to the business plan and school.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

so I was not called at all. not even informed. well well,

just ONE more time. but nonetheless


my decision is made.

I am FULLY AWARE of the price I have to pay. some may disagree but wouldnt want it any other way. But when a door is closed, God opens a window. that is always true.


so whats the influencing factor?
It all comes down to the empowerment.

On a lighter note....
THE BUSINESS PLAN IS READY GENTLEMEN!

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

I dont understand that feeling of apprehension everytime I try to help Frederico.
It maybe due to the fact about what he has done to other people but I cant be like that.
The whole unit cant really focus their attention on just one guy not especially if his own squadmates are ostrasizing him.

oh sure I have a choice to not help him. But on the other hand, no one is.

Ive sought help from counsellors and everytime I do so, he just reminds me of myself when I was young.

Forget honour. Forget glory. Forget achievement. I dont believe in any of that crap when it comes to other people. I'm not helping him for any of that.

It may not be my duty but I am compelled to do so.

Trust me when I say I am fully aware of the price to pay and the things I am forfeiting.
I've been shirking away from my duties, my work, my studies and most regrettably,my FRIENDS! even though I may be physically present. both from unit, area, school, workplace and outing. it may get even worse but I believe in what's best and can only pray for it.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

If we were all the kings and queens
I'd probably be your only servant in this world

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To the people who made all of this possible..CHEERS!

Here, you'll see a side of me never known before

Current read: The divine intervention




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