here's a trick I've learned in Dunman.

it's what I love to call tunnel vision. the idea is to focus all the 5 senses and the mind onto the goal. somehow it causes the adrenaline effect.and Ive never fathom-ed why.

speaking of dunman, I saw yesterday's newspaper about how the alumni, me included, are opposing the new design of the school badge. Yup, the school badge designed by Frederico. haha. he won $500 for it btw.

anyway, the alumni thinks it'll cause an identity crisis. honestly, I have to agree. the feeling of returning to dunman is kinda weird nowadays. maybe its because the school premises that has given so much to my years of adolescence are gone. but now that the motto has changed and that diligence has been removed, it feels even weirder. most people would say a motto is just motto. but id rather say it has a deep profound effect on us all. especially me.

besides that, its incredible how the culture here in dunman has changed. even the teachers! heh. oh well, the more things change.. the more they'll stay the same.

been pretty busy over the past few days organising the courses for the teams and bla3. npcc here n there. school work is starting to pick up n so on. heh. but I LOVE IT!..just kinda worried about my project groups though. i got ben in it. -.-"

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

It seems that the whole biz plan has to be err..scraped. A global financial meltdown. great.

but then,

another thought.

how about an ENTERPRISE?!

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

I have no idea why im posting this up. heh. anyway, its MAHIR'S MASTERPIECE.





hehe. sorry shikin

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

So I went jogging though I was sick. must have been mad of me.

but then im glad I went. I've missed my area CIs even though its just a short while.
6 rounds in all for me.


now here's the weird part.
the feeling of being ill was the same feeling I had when I had a virus infection back in 2005. it took me a whole week to recover from that virus and I suppose it has never strayed away.

Somehow during the training, I felt stronger each second. the faster I jogged, the stronger I became. it was almost as if the old adrenaline-frenzy feeling before every race was restored to me. Only when I stopped did it revert back to the old feeling.

But after training, the adrenaline-like feeling returned and this time it was too much to handle. almost as if I was a million times into overdrive.

ive been sick since monday and the first symptoms are the same as those back in 2005. and its almost a week.

A blessing or a so-called curse? maybe.






maybe its something else.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Now here's a vision I had while feeling high with dat mixture of cough syrup and panadol. heh. dont yell at me later on.

Imagine life as a road. or rather a race. a marathon! 43 kilometres
you're at the starting line. THOUSANDS of other competitors.
As the gunshot signalling the beginning of the race echoes, you're either in front of everyone, in the middle or smack dab at the back.
so anyway, you start running, jogging or even walking.
Some ZOOM past you. others you overtake. some keep up a pace beside you.

1) sometimes you're either in these 3 positions. how do you choose to run your race?

5km.

The road suddenly goes uphill. some people start lagging. some put on a burst of speed to overcome the elevation. others show no sign of speeding up or slowing down. and there's still someone keeping pace beside you.

2) you face an uphill task. other get over it with ease, some slow down. others are just beside you.

10km

A downhill track. some use the slope to put on a burst of speed. others hold back their strides to counter falls and overstrain of muscles. Is there still someone beside you?


3) A better road. what would you do? run faster, slow down or neither? and the others?

20km.

Things take a steeper turn. the day wears on. more uphill and downhill roads. At this point, a group of people wearing same shirts join the race handing bottles of water to the runners and then move away to the sides.Their job is done. and there is still someone beside you.

4) sometimes people come and go. they're one time angels in our lives and they cant always be there to help us.

30 km

you stumble and fall. the effect of a sudden stop after 30km of running takes it toll immediately. its almost hell. the person who stayed beside you has gone on ahead. you get to your feet and keep moving. you're alone now though there are still people in front and behind you.

5) those whom you spend much time with suddenly pull ahead. as much as you hate it, you're alone now.

40km.

you're almost there! another 3km and its all over.

6) often we long for the end of things as we get nearer to them.

42.95km

someone in front of you stumbles and falls. Instinctively you stop and help the person up. looks like you're not alone now.

43km.

at the end of all things, you've gone ahead and fell behind at times. some people come and go but you didnt reach the end alone. the race is over and you're already panting and sore. but your mind starts to rewind about the entire journey. PLENTY of mixed feelings and words wont do it justice. everyone starts to shake hands. you form an unnatural bond with the people who were ahead or behind you. however, for the one who was beside you at the end... you start to wish if only you knew him/her better before the race. nonetheless, you've ended with someone.

medals dont matter. the whole journey itself is a reward enough to be remembered for a long time to come.

amidst all that, you start to wish you're at the beginning again. ready to experience this journey again.

In times to come, you will.



This is how running is to me and its how my life has always been related to it in this way. I hope you enjoy life's moments as much as I have.

and im going to run later =)

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

this is an incredibly inconvenient time to fall ill.


somehow everytime I try to rest, the thought of the things I could do or missed out just keeps me awake or in this case, drive me out of my bed.

the most nagging thing was missing out on training with the PSEI teams today. I know I sound like a child but you would be too if you were in my case and if you missed training with people like the Area8 CIs

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

When one is sick, he starts to reminisce about how he doesnt spend his time wisely when he's in good health or what he's gonna do when he gets better.

err...well at least i do. haha.

but a little time off has shown the foolishness of my past actions. I cant go on like how I used to. I'm still human. I cant fight for every second of my life.

so its time for change. and I'll damn well make sure its for the better.
my team went training today with the other groups. gaaahhhhhh!!. dats the huge negative point about being ill.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

first my knee and then my health. haiyo.

seems to me I've turned reckless.
but then, what would my life be otherwise eh?

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

For the first time in my life,


words fail me. haha.
I've been cancelling-retyping-erasing-retyping what I'd like to convey but none of it would do justice.
so I've put this into simpler terms.


I feel rather apprehensive being Area8 Chairman because sometimes it feels as though I'm leading them the wrong way. Nonetheless, I have a purpose and that is to serve.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

the exhaustion for two days was incredible.
but today was worse.


Games day finished at 2pm! cabut back home asap to go out jln raya with md n gang. took a nap for ten mins and when i got up from my bed,
the ligament in my left knee somehow refused to function.
lucky my head didnt hit the computer table when i crumpled.
so all i have to do now is half limp-half hop.

im fucked. great

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

short post today.

my dear Area8,

get ready for training. IRONMAN STYLE! HAHA!
im evil.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

The biggest promise today in my entire life and should I ever get lost, let it serve as a reminder and a path.


Thousands of people are going to hate me and the other half vice versa for this but I have a purpose.
And its a responsibility I cannot shirk away.
Every single accident or happening has come to fit together like a jigsaw. Everything from those dreams turning real and that incident outside the petrol kiosk just before Hari Raya.

I know what I'm supposed to do.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

let me be a kid for today. been so long since i acted like one.


I WANT THIS FOR MY BIRTHDAY!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTVXfCbos-o

but my mom will probably go crazy like the one in a similar video.

WHO PUSHED THE FISH!?!?!?!

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

OLD MAN ENTRY AHEAD- BEWARE! You have been warned

Ever since fasting month is over, I've been having these really weird dreams. NOT WET DREAMS AH! some of it throws alot of questions into perspective. One of which is my current life situation now.

I'm crazy I know. I jump off bridges, go out late at night into parks all alone and even think of making molotov cocktails and experiment them with ant nests. hehe

anyway,

Its the more important things I hold in life. namely in NPCC and in my own family. There's times when people get highly critical of what I do or how I do things but thats the whole point isnt it? I cant please everyone all the time because I dont do things that seem sensible. I do what is best for everyone and often its not the more comfortable of choices obviously. like pushing people's limits physically, yelling your heads off or even being cynical when everyone's happy.

it sounds unromantic and sophomoric but true love always is.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Height: 168cm (two years ago)
Height: 166cm (NOW)


I GROW SHORTER! WTFWTFWTF!

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

My favourite cousins came over yesterday. Somehow with them around, I feel a little out of place. maybe because the crazy times we had reminded us of how young we were back then and now, its like we're all too freaking old to even slide down the staircase or start yelling.

heh.

I know Im old. Some people think I'm married. Some think I've finished NS. Some think im working already. siao!

Things seem a little different at this age. It's thrown a little bit more perspective into my life and destiny which reminds me of a quote yikying wrote on her blog or friendster more like. "I opened the door on the last day of my teen life" or something like dat lah. and if I look back on my life, you could either say I've done more than enough, too little or just enough. but my answer is, just keep swimming!

anyway,

Somehow with Ramadan over, I'm raring to go all out for every activity especially prep for the PSEI Challenge. Fasting month has this effect on me every year.


random thought. Alwi previously said I should go find a gf quickly. -.-"

btw, the blog link 'Syafiq' is not the ST45 Syafiq. but for Syafiq from Siglap.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Ramadhan comes to an end. somehow the feeling this year is different compared to previous ones. Maybe we're just growing old lah. haha.

so anyway,

Insya-Allah things will progress. be it for family, friends, relatives, school, Unit or Area and Sports.

Speaking of which, the Post Secondary Education Institution Challenge falls on MY BIRTHDAY! 29 NOV.
which means..I'll be spending the end of my teenage years running all around Singapore for two days. -.-"

PPCDL and 1 Star Kayaking Course next month! HOORAY!

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

If we were all the kings and queens
I'd probably be your only servant in this world

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Here, you'll see a side of me never known before

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