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Thursday, June 25, 2009 // 8:50 AM

Nobody asked for this.
I didnt ask for this.

but we just got to make the best out of it.
yesterday was a disaster.

For the first time in my life, I was asked to carry out something I have never done before. Below is an excerpt of a conversation between me and a certain someone (denoted as A) that will interest you.

Me: "I still dont know why they asked me. It's not as if I'm the best person for this job"
A: "Who else is going to do it?"
Me: "You know very well that I'm doing this because I didnt have a choice. I could just blindly not bother about doing this and let this whole thing burn up in flames"
A: "ahh..guilty conscience later on eh? but then what about the others who just left it like that?"
Me: "you tell me. I still have no idea why I stayed behind then"
A: "just drop it lah. its a complete waste of time"
Me:" Funny. That's what I used to say to myself when I stuck with them"

Moving on to later parts of the convo.

A:" Nobody knew this was going to happen. It's just something anyone would do on a sinking ship."
Me: "who would?"
A:"The point is why do you bother?"
Me: "To answer that question, I was hoping you could tell me. Nobody's going to believe us, you know that as much as I do. But it doesnt matter if we're the black sheep of the flock. What matters is that I'm still going to keep fighting but I cant do this shit alone. Will you help me out here? "
A: "At your disposal sir!"
Me: "HAHA! power lah. But I need you to be clear on what we're doing here. It's a real slog every step of the way and it's going to take a lot of your time. I'll be straight with you now, Whats the price you're willing to pay?"
A: "whatever it takes."

I wont say what I've been trying to do but all I know its a huge sacrifice. I knew the price that I had to pay.
I could have gone out with asses yesterday.
I have to forgo my entire business plan. possibly even scrap it.
I did very badly for ALL my tests and projects.
And there have been more than one trainings where there were no CIs around.
It's going to take up my time more than ever now.
Hopefully it wont eat into my powerboat course as well.

When all this is over, when its all said and done.. what will be the aftermath and where will I end up?
God, just one day changed the course of my entire life.
But I swear the day after tomorrow will be mine.

The question is when.
I sure hope the toll is one that I can bear with

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye