Now here's something I've trying to figure out else among other things.

Cristiano Ronaldo's freekicks!
A bit wth lah. haha

But still, its been intriguing me ever since that freekick against portsmouth.
which reminds me...

Arsenal vs Manu tonight!

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Here's a new phrase

"There is nothing that can compare with an animal in distress"

At around 10pm yesterday, I heard some cat mewing around the door. It wouldnt be the first time that a cat has done that!..Our house has a notable experience with crazy cats. Especially one getting so riled up that it kept scratching the door because my brother accidentally scared the hell out of it when it was snoozing at the door mat!

So anyway, I was half hoping it would go away. But just to be sure I had to check. HOW I WISH I DIDNT!

For those of you who have been to my house, you'll know that my neighbour keeps some items stashed outside in between our houses which makes a perfectly good spot for a small animal to curl up for the night. And THAT was where the KITTEN, not a cat, was hiding!

It's small enough to be lifted with one hand..white fur with patches of black over its body, a black tail and qrotesque black patches on its head that gives of the bizarre shape of a sad face! HAHA!

So anyway, my brother was at the door and he let the cat in for a while which it promptly did. The kitten seems to think the dining table is some kind of playground because it started running around like a firecracker! My brother gave it some food (which was some strips of chicken!..kinda messed up lah).

So afterwards I had to bring the bugger downstairs. I dont want to say what the kitten was trying to do but I just want to say I've had slightly scary experiences with desperate cats and I was not in the mood to hold a writhing kitten in one hand while I was waiting for the lift.

But after his head got squashed by the lift door (NOT MY FAULT!), I had to hold him in my hand!

Anyway, he'll be back. The cats that drop by my house are like passenger pigeons lah. They always know how to get back to where they came from! #$%)!

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

400th post and how fitting it will be for me to say this

WELCOME TO ENDGAME!

Not endgame for my blog but exams. I dont suppose I'd be ending up in a university (possible but highly unlikely I guess) so perhaps its the end of EXAMS for the REST OF MY LIFE! HAHA!

On to more serious matters, I can finally get my mind focused and in peace at the right times. Been having this crazy headaches everytime I wake up from sleep. Lucky I didnt make the trip down to HTA help out with the admin and collect my NPAP shirt. I would have ended up elsewhere instead of HTA!

In between the lines, I want to finally focus on things I WANT to do WITHOUT obligation because they just weigh on me EVERYTIME.

The next order of business is my PPCDL theory test on 3rd Sept. Afterwhich comes Hari Raya and perhaps NYAA. I wonder if I should sign up for the Adventure Camp to Pulau Ubin by TPAC. The thing is I've seen Ubin all round duno how many times.

Maybe a change perhaps?
It's best to make the most out of the NYAA anyway

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

This year's goal for Ramadhan is simple yet complicated in the eyes of some.

To find that link of merging traditions with the modern society today.
I wont discuss this here since its a pretty sensitive subject.

During retrospect, I found a long lost friend who's name has been cropping up since. I first knew him when my mom sent me to mengaji at tamp st 21 there. (Speaking of which, I found Nazrul at EVSS also last time!)

Md Salman!

1) I duno if Zeya knows him or not but from his old blog posts, seems like he does albeit not knowing whether its the Salman I'm referring to.

2) A few years back my mother mentioned Salman breaking the junior 100m national record! Means he must have appeared in the newspapers.

3) And now I'm sure the Salman that PM Lee mentioned in his national day rally is DEFINITELY the Salman I'm referring to. He went to St Joseph's Institution and excelled.

Wait, he excels in EVERYTHING!
Wonder where he is now...

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Finally they had sense to cancel athletics training.

Anyway, its 4.17am and I just watched the IAAF championships. The sprinters just forcefully reminded me of the good old sports days back in dunman. Me n faiz being crazy would take part in ALL the long distance events and relays! Not forgetting the cross country's also!

The most memorable of relays is the 4x400m where we raced from LAST to SECOND within the last 100m. And my last race in dunman, the 2000m steeplechase which was the first and last race I won. The 2005 cross country where me n faiz came in first and 2nd respectively was another memorable one. And achievements for both of us! We ran the WHOLE of pasir ris park back and forth (6 or 7km) within 17 minutes!

Of course now, I dont think I can run that fast now.

But after watching the IAAF on tv, I WANNA RUN AGAIN!
I'd like to feel the thrill of the adrenaline pumping in my veins and that heady sense of purpose walking onto the tracks.

THE SPRINTS! Been so long since I've done them!

WHO WANTS TO RUN? (after puasa of course)

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

ATHLETICS Training during Ramadhan. THE MOST SEVERE YET!
Oh holy crap!

They're trying to emancipate!

So its either I'm gonna grow more skinnier or much fatter during Ramadhan. (which is impossible)
That aside, I'm looking forward to Ramadhan, not just as a festive period but rather a time to purify ourselves and something much more which I cant find words to put it into proper context.

Happy Fasting in advance!

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

This will blow your mind. Read on but I dont expect many people to fully comprehend this.Nonetheless, here goes.

Almost five years ago, a bright idea came to me. A great inspiration. One that would overshadow all the previous doings in its own thought. Its not some great big plan or anything.
It was just simply perception. I didnt realise how tainted it was from the start because everything seemed so perfect..like ushering into a new era.

The perception? Simple. The whole world is just a game..whether its chess,monopoly, snakes and ladders...they're all the same. Its all like some psychological shit.

But then, change one thing in your life and the world responds like it always does. Thats the thing about perception. Its like a double edged sword that either goes nearer to your sternum or further away from it. In this particular case however, I didnt like the way it was going. Everything slowly began to not make any sense whatsoever. Maybe it was something I couldnt understand. Something larger than life.

Everyday, I find myself so amazed at the complications people put themselves into and the answer to that would always be their agenda or purpose. Fair enough? Not quite. You see, at some point of time, that agenda becomes lost and it ends up another way.
Maybe my own perception of life is just too simplified in its own design and in an effort to understand others, I did what even a dumb man knew was a mistake.

I figuratively put myself in the shoes of others.

And look where I ended up?
In another effort to understand, I took a look at my own family. Well, I wont go into details because its rather sensitive.

At this point of time you'll wonder how this makes any sense. Put it this way then. I've moulded myself so much till I feel so different from everyone else to the extent of alienating!

After 5 years, I still find myself immensely frustrated. Yes I know its not healthy harping on something in the past that you cant understand. Perhaps the one time where it did come to make sense was during a CDS (leadership) lecture explaining characteristics.

I still remember what my law lecturer, Mr Ferlin Jayatissa told me last time " You try to make too much sense of everything. Sometimes things just happens and its meant not to be understood" (somewhere along those lines).
And finally after 2 years, I've come to realise what he meant. The hidden meaning behind his words.

Now everything comes to down to a mere decision. A decision that I've hidden myself from all along. A decision I'd like all of you to think about as well.

"What do you choose to see in this world?"

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Now the past few days of soul searching have done some good.

I've come to accept who I am.
The fact is

I'm just fucking crazy.
No joke.

I realise half the things I do arent what many people do everyday.
But as long it keeps my sanity( contradicting huh? since im crazy) and me from being bored.
Somehow whenever I see myself as crazy, one person comes to mind and I cant help feeling like he does.




TIME TO GO CRAZY!
So first things first,
OTTERS SPOTTED AT PASIR RIS PARK!
I'm gonna make sure as hell I'm gonna spot them unlike the previous time where I couldnt get to see the crocodile! #!$%^?
So we're going from crocodile hunter to otter hunter! haha.
Any takers?

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

I've just been given the most painful lesson of my life. wont go into details.
Of all the God-given treasures in this world, I'm blessed with so many and that probably makes me beyond rich.
All this while I've been blind.

All I had to do was just use them.

I'm probably the luckiest human being in the world. The stupid thing is when was the last time did I EVER see anything through till the end?

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

So let's get the first round of MP started.

YOU!..the one reading this sentence. Please save my life and Click Here to take survey

I wonder if crumpler bags are a good idea

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

The first fish for the first rod!
I went down to pasir ris fishing pond at 7am yesterday.
It wasnt such a good day since the pond was low on fish and that day happened to be the day the fish delivery arrived.

So I was wasting time away from 7am to 5pm until I got the first fish at 5.15pm!

WOOOHOO!!

Picture is up at facebook. I was snoozing away on my chair when the fish took the bait!..so it was probably thrashing around in the water for at least 5-10 mins before I woke up! That feeling of seeing the floater missing is almost heart-stopping! coz you know its the fish and nothing else!

The nice tight pulls that the fish gave n the sound of the reel dispensing its line according to fish's strength is all that I can remember of. haha. Lucky the malay uncle next to me gave me a few directions when reeling in.

It's only one fish but its enough for me. haha.
Thanks for coming regu!

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Of all the words in my vocabulary,

There are none that I can use to describe yesterday.
A milestone perhaps? oh yes.
Other than that, anything I say wouldnt do justice.

But one thing's for sure. I'll be looking forward to the next training =)

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Drill Competition 2009.

Trained for less than 2 weeks.
Finalising and changing everything until the last damn minute.
I dont want to be the one claiming credit for what I did for them especially since there's alot of personal sacrifice for that matter. Make no mistake, there's no regret from me. NADA!

Right, we dont need a soliloquy. We won OVERALL FIRST! duno bout the placings of our components though.

Nobody expected it at all. heh. I still cant erase ms si's happy face from my mind!
Whether it was well deserved or not, doesnt matter. You got it and that's what matters.

My only regret is if only they had faith in themselves like I had faith in them. Who knows what could have been accomplished?

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Cldnt get to the lake today. As a result, the experiments are delayed AGAIN!

$%#@!

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

The end of a tumultous semester. Sub paper awaits? haha. we'll see about that.
I miss the lake. I'm going there now

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Sometimes you cant have everything planned out.
You just gotta take that leap of faith in the darkness.

I didnt realise how true those words meant when I found myself at a tangible block!

Anyway, I did some researching on Vietnam and found out about their norms and culture. For one, the locals still call their capital Saigon instead of Ho Chi Minh City and quite a number still speak french since it used to be a french colony for a few decades.

Amidst all that, I find myself thinking more and more about what I can do for them when I'm going there. I'm glad Zul has the same notion as well. The idea of an overseas community project looms even nearer. It may even go international. Who knows? There's a whole host of things I can do when I'm there.
It seems the OSIP in Vietnam will change my life forever.
For the better of course.
I hope.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

I think that what has been revealed to me is the most wonderful yet most dangerous thing ever.
Thank God!
But I foresee a moment in the future when all this is worthwhile.
A moment in which nothing I do will be my choice.

Enough of all the angst and frustration. It wouldnt make any sense for anyone to be that way.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Hanoi, Vietnam here we come!

Had the interview today.
I guess it wont be so tough eh?
We'll see.

There's a possibility it starts in sept. meaning no hari raya for me! damn.
same boat with iliee? who knows!

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

For God's sake, dont let it become this way.
It's a real hard reminder.

Enough.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Here's something I forgot to blog about earlier.

Often feelings of discontent with another individual arise when seeing them at peace with something else. heh. I've got that all too often from almost all my friends.
Now dont get me wrong, this is not a justification of my past or current actions. This is simply just a perspective.

More often misunderstood is the fact that time alone for an individual means serenity and fortification of his/her personality,nerves, mindset and feelings. In sec school, there's always tons of people around. Its a much smaller world in there literally and thus the company you keep is more or less constant with a few tweaks here and there. But being around with so many people in a fixed world, how much time do you really have for yourself? We find comfort,strength, security and motivation when we mix with people. Group dynamics of course. But for the individual? What if the group has the negative effect on him/her?

I knew I was hardly giving time for myself in sec school. Always mixing around here and there but so little time for myself. So little time to stop, ponder and move out again. That, in my opinion, results in split personality or some disorder.

In poly, I found myself at a loss. People were different. Suddenly the whole world became topsy turvy! It was time for drastic change and to balance that effect, it took a lot more time to think and analyze without having PROJECTS breathing down your neck! Personality starts to take a different turn and is soon carved out. I was more than elated. I felt like I had reached Nirvana but it needed alot of sacrifice.

Everytime I go to school, I'd take note of individuals walking on the concourse and wonder how many are actually going to meet their friends (something I hear a zillion times everyday) and how many are going about their daily life ALONE and getting on top form everyday?
As for me, the right company gets me going and for the others, just the opposite.

To sum it all up, I'd seem to be spending more time alone but thats not emo-ing. Far from it my friends. Compare my current self now and back then. I'm a stronger person now than I used to be (but physically, ITS THE OPPOSITE! #$!%@) and it has to stay this way.

I foresee a moment in the future where the time I spent alone will make all the difference in this world. I sincerely hope that you readers will find your inner self/spirit like I have or that blank peacefulness within when you need it most.

On a crazy note..I've started to use basic mathematics for dunman's fancy drill formations! NPAP sure made me a different person as well.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

I caught sight of one of them today. They're here.
Time to prepare.

On a much lighter note,

ORGCOMM meeting skills session was perfect! the whole group got A! It was just amazing! I've been in tons of meetings and it would be absolutely bizarre if i didnt do well.

Anyway,

MY SALMON FILLET WORKED OUT PERFECTLY!
WOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sprinkle the cajun seasoning on the fillet, cut a few grooves in it and squeeze the lemon juice onto it. Chuck the whole thing into the oven and let it grill for 20 mins.

VOILA!

Ate the salmon with some fries and a turkey ham. wash it down with lemonade! it was orgasmic lah. HAHA. the only thing missing was the sauce and vegetables though. didnt feel like using the parsley.




Here's a random pic I got in my hp. This barracuda was caught off bedok jetty by some pakciks last month. My slipper in the photo is size 8 btw so you can gauge how big the fish is!

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Another great day!

MIO presentation is done. MLS sub paper for me i guess.
But anyway, at least it wasnt a waste of time.

Afterwards, it was cycling! Finally explored the region beside blk 700 plus there.
It's beautiful.
Extremely peaceful.
Beautiful flowers and wonderful scenery
carpet grass
a pond with fish
n good biking trails

I'm going back there the next chance I get!

So afterwards, I bought some ingredients to experiment with.
Cajun,turkey n beef ham, lemons,parsley, pita bread and a salmon fillet.
It's not so special ah but the cajun played a big part. There wasnt much anything to do with the ham though.
Tmr gonna try out the salmon fillet.

This calls for more research and PROFESSIONAL advice!

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

A good day today!

Entrepreneurship project presentation turned out to be 10 times better than I expected. As a matter of fact, the best presentation I've done with a group. Christina and Ting Hui can be super damn efficient at the last minute. Especially CHRISTINA! If she was consistent all the way, confirm get A liao. haha.

But all in all, thanks to them that our group made it with Zhan shuo providing just the entertainment..heh.

Somehow I'm gonna miss them though. They're probably the best ppl I've managed to work with so far this sem and the end product turned out sweet!

Thanks guys! do keep in touch aite...

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Everytime I set out to work, there comes this unbidden vision of them in my mind.
They're always either on my left or right side.
Watching me always.
And everytime that happens, that nagging feeling or sense of impending danger grows.

Like I said, they're coming.
It's just a matter of time.
But if they put in an appearance, I'll be ready.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

I woke up this morning and made a new agenda for myself.

Make today a meaningful day.
Morning-npcc
Afternoon- training
Night- dinner

I just hope the location of where I'm working on sunday isnt too far.
Next week is officially the end of project week!

which reminds me, I still need to reschedule alot of stuff.

Anyway, I asked Regu bout expeditions that he had done before namely, ophir and kinabalu expeditions. What caught my attention and made me reflect was the kinabalu expedition. It wasnt the total expenses of 60k nor the journey but the cause that they did it for.

It wasnt a journey for themselves but for others. They were doing it to help the disabled climb up to the summit. That gave me a stark reminder of what I've missed out for so long.

The purpose of serving others. To humble myself and channel my energy into helping others to rise to their maximum potential and provide self realization as well. I guess the most important people of all would be those whom we serve.
But then I wonder, there are those who fiercely believe in this attribute till they'd give their lives up for it. For example, I read in yesterday's newspaper about how an SAF officer saved a recruit by putting his body in between the soldier and an exploding grenade.

That really puts leadership, professionalism, personal sacrifice and service into perspective huh?

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

I suddenly had this mad desire to conquer the elements!

Dive into the SEA!
Climb Mount Everest!
Journey across a desert!

err..what else?

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

If we were all the kings and queens
I'd probably be your only servant in this world

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To the people who made all of this possible..CHEERS!

Here, you'll see a side of me never known before

Current read: The divine intervention




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