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Thursday, August 20, 2009 // 1:28 AM

This will blow your mind. Read on but I dont expect many people to fully comprehend this.Nonetheless, here goes.

Almost five years ago, a bright idea came to me. A great inspiration. One that would overshadow all the previous doings in its own thought. Its not some great big plan or anything.
It was just simply perception. I didnt realise how tainted it was from the start because everything seemed so perfect..like ushering into a new era.

The perception? Simple. The whole world is just a game..whether its chess,monopoly, snakes and ladders...they're all the same. Its all like some psychological shit.

But then, change one thing in your life and the world responds like it always does. Thats the thing about perception. Its like a double edged sword that either goes nearer to your sternum or further away from it. In this particular case however, I didnt like the way it was going. Everything slowly began to not make any sense whatsoever. Maybe it was something I couldnt understand. Something larger than life.

Everyday, I find myself so amazed at the complications people put themselves into and the answer to that would always be their agenda or purpose. Fair enough? Not quite. You see, at some point of time, that agenda becomes lost and it ends up another way.
Maybe my own perception of life is just too simplified in its own design and in an effort to understand others, I did what even a dumb man knew was a mistake.

I figuratively put myself in the shoes of others.

And look where I ended up?
In another effort to understand, I took a look at my own family. Well, I wont go into details because its rather sensitive.

At this point of time you'll wonder how this makes any sense. Put it this way then. I've moulded myself so much till I feel so different from everyone else to the extent of alienating!

After 5 years, I still find myself immensely frustrated. Yes I know its not healthy harping on something in the past that you cant understand. Perhaps the one time where it did come to make sense was during a CDS (leadership) lecture explaining characteristics.

I still remember what my law lecturer, Mr Ferlin Jayatissa told me last time " You try to make too much sense of everything. Sometimes things just happens and its meant not to be understood" (somewhere along those lines).
And finally after 2 years, I've come to realise what he meant. The hidden meaning behind his words.

Now everything comes to down to a mere decision. A decision that I've hidden myself from all along. A decision I'd like all of you to think about as well.

"What do you choose to see in this world?"

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye