Because I am the orbiting moon
You will always remain as Earth
Saturday, October 31, 2009 // 1:04 AM
Here's an excerpt of a conversation I had with a certain someone. Intriguing.....
A: You ought to smile more often and appear more friendly. You look too stern sometimes.
Me: Huh? But I'm not stern at first impression!
A: Well, you look like you're always frowning! You'll make people more happy when you smile (senyum = sedekah?)
Me: haha. okay. I'll try to but I need something to smile about what
A: Why not believe that you lift people's spirits just by smiling? because its true sometimes.
Me: sure anort?
A: just ask around
What can I say?
Added on at 1.05am,
Azim and Zul were watching a video and it just starkly reminded me of you. I feel extremely guilty for being so selfish that day. Astaghfirullah. Its a small thing really that caused no real harm but nonetheless.... guess I should atone for that..
I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye
Monday, October 26, 2009 // 3:47 AM
How ironic.
After one week in Vietnam, I start to see things a little differently. A wider perspective given to me when back in SG, I thought I had it all figured out.
I guess I was wrong but there's still a piece of this puzzle yet to be solved.
And at this point, I begin to wonder about what I've said before.
"There will be a point of time where everything I do will never make a difference until one small moment. A moment where everything I've done or tried to do is defined but will happen next?"
Has that moment arrived or has it passed? Have I reached the point of no return?
Now the question that I've dreaded for all my life comes back to me AGAIN. What is your purpose?
I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye
// 3:12 AM
How do I reach these kids? Well, how bout thinking like one?
So anyway,
the week has come and gone. I still get plenty of motion sickness in cab rides. Or maybe I'm also sick of the air here. heh. All the more I have to keep a healthy lifestyle huh? Speaking of healthy lifestyle, MAYBE its one of the secrets to the beauty of Vietnamese women.
No joke here. I've seen the food they eat and how clean their surroundings are. But then again, levels of stress here cannot compare with those in Singapore. So there's another explanation. heh.
But no joke bout the pollution and hygiene here. In retrospect, i start to feel how granted i've taken the cleanliness in SG sometimes. heh. I've also had the chance of watching old Singaporean sitcoms and dramas back in the 1990s. The NOSTALGIA is simply wonderful.
Back then those TV shows gave a sense of identity to us singaporeans. No matter how unrealistic or lame the show may appear to be. It was all what we needed.
Anyway, the kids here at RV! Centre are pretty well off. Carrying iphones,ipods and idunowhatelse. You can somehow liken these kids to those in pri sch. I've come close to raising my voice but restrained from doing so. They're here for ASEAN scholarships and I'm sure as hell am gonna prepare them for what lies ahead if they do get that scholarship.
In closing, I'm feeling rather under-utilised and wasting time here. Better get into high gear and start thinking of what to do!.
Here's a phrase I'd like to share all of you. Hopefully it'll inspire you like it has for me.
"Your physical body is composed of light that comes from your every thought. When you feel lost and afraid, remember that you are a spirit who is infinite, timeless, indestructible, sacred, protected and immortal."
Photos in Facebook! Not much with my face though. Still feeling dizzy whenever my group heads out. So I'm still green.
I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye
Saturday, October 24, 2009 // 2:03 AM
I guess I finally got how it feels like being in my mom's place.
Being a teacher.
All those crazy paper setting and markings to do. And to top it all off, you'll never know if the kids learn anything until they show it.
Luckily no class to teach for 3 days but a 3 hour class on sunday. heh. Apart from that, still trying to figure out alot of stuff here. One of the guest teachers(not really) told me this phrase that I'll never forget.
"I felt like telling Mr Chu(the manager) that I shouldnt be teaching. These students are scholars and we're giving them sub-standard education because we're not fully prepared to handle them"
That sentence brought me right back to Earth and the sharp reminder of how learning and knowledge should never be taken for granted. Especially since I'm the teacher.
So anyway, there's alot to say about Vietnam. So here's a few facts,
1) You dont need to use the traffic light. Avoid crossing the road when there's a bus or car. Other than that, you can practically walk blindly across the road and the motorcycles will avoid you albeit close shaves lah.
2) My other group mates have difficulty communicating with Vietnamese people except for me. HAHA!
3) 1 SGD dollar = 12,000 VN Dong
4) the 2 piece chicken meal at KFC is less than SGD$5. HAHAHA!
5) The apartment here has a router n cable tv to all channels.
6) Dont underestimate the locals. I still see some of them wearing red armbands. The guards at the embassies and government house carry AK-47s
7) 20th October was Women's Day in Vietnam. HAHA. I guess the females here have a special day set aside for them unlike other women in the world.
8) Cab fares are pretty cheap. Sometimes it costs less than $1 a trip.
9) Shopping here is pretty baffling as similar shops open up so close to one another
My best fact for the day: On average, a motorist in Hanoi honks at other motorists or pedestrians once every 30-45 seconds. NO JOKE!
On another random note, people often mention about how good-looking Vietnamese girls are.Well, to tell you the truth, they werent exaggerating. HAHA!
I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye
Tuesday, October 20, 2009 // 11:25 AM
We got a little unexpected event yesterday. Some kid got a deep cut on his foot in front of our apartment. We helped him out n got one hell of a reception from his friends while we washed n covered the wound.
Such a small simple thing but if you were in my place...you'd see things a whole lot differently. I guess being in a foreign land, you'll come to accept the lifestyle and nature of the locals. Let's not forget...the Americans came here and were HANDILY defeated. So instead of looking at it like it's a 3rd world country, there's a lot to learn and understand. Maybe perhaps there are going to be some things I WONT understand but that's the point isnt it?
We'll keep wondering and someday we'll know. So anyway, my working hours have increased from 9am-9pm. heh. yeahh...go yell.
So far,I've taught statistics, indices and algebraic manipulation. Today's lesson is going to be problem solving and heuristics. A topic never taught before in SG but highly useful. I cld think of tons of singaporeans who cld use heuristics!
Anyway, the locals have gained an immense respect. Hanoi used to be just an ordinary kampong but its getting into a full blown developing country. At this particular juncture of OSIP, I'm already fully enjoying myself. The locals, baffling shophouses, teaching and a wide array of products.
The kids at the centre are pretty well off so I guess its time to shift my focus from the kids to the staff at the centre instead.
And for those of you with raging hormones...I havent got my vietnamese bride. lol. So dont get any ideas!
I still havent found a crumpler bag shop or factory here in Hanoi though I know there's one in Saigon. Hopefully I can make a trip there one day.
OPEN INVITATION!: Who wants to go to Ho Chi Minh City one day?!
I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye
// 1:21 AM
Apparently someone nearly took meth and got so high to the extent that she thinks she's almost tranny. What happens when an underage girl with raging hormones spends too little time with girls and hangs out more often with guys?
Result: A gender confused she-male.
You know who you are my dear. *smiles knowingly* crazy bitch. haha!
I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye
Monday, October 19, 2009 // 4:18 PM
Let's get one thing straight here boy.
It's either you're with me...or you're not. Either one is fine by me.
Just dont get in my way.
Quote that phrase..."Its either lead,follow or get the fuck out of the way!"
I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye
// 1:03 AM
Something happened today that made my blood boil.
You asked for it. You wanted a full blooded guy in full gear right. Now you got one. I'm gonna fire on all fronts.
At the end of 2 months, you'll see things a little differently!
I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye
Saturday, October 17, 2009 // 1:48 PM
Back to normal health. Thankfully!
Guess its not Hanoi but the jet lag that I needed to recover from. been 12 years since I last rode in a plane. heh.
So anyway, I'm just sticking to a spartan diet and lifestyle now. I prefer it this way though. I get sick eating all the fancy food. Lucky there's a small park in front of the apartment. Good for jogging though there arent joggers here of course.
Hanoi is pretty much smiliar to KL minus the high rise buildings. The structures here are like those you see in Chinatown and Little India though there are some french architectures scattered here and there.
As for RV! Centre...haha. I duno why but it reminds me of the house in the movie REC. HAHA!
Tmr is my first lesson. Relief teaching. Teaching statistics!
There's a hint of trepidation but teaching has always been a passion.
*Good morning class*
*Expected reply: Good Morning Mr...*
I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye
Friday, October 16, 2009 // 11:24 PM
Adding on...
I've prayed that this trip will bring out the best in others as well as myself. And as of yesterday, I find a purpose achieved. A hidden purpose.
Like I said...a test of faith,courage and independence.
Anyway,
I'm thankful to see everyone who sent me off at the airport. Thanks again guys!
p.s 10th time I'm going to the toilet already!
I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye
// 10:34 PM
ah. i knew this would happen sooner or later. Jet lag is still getting to me.
Everything else is manageable except for my own body! lol. just puked sommore. haiyo.
I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye
// 7:07 AM
Still feeling the effects of jet lag. damn woozy.
its already 6.05am local time in Vietnam but the sun is already at around 8am Singapore time. heh.
What lies ahead today?
p.s the balcony outside our room is has a small pool of water. I thought it was a small pond. Turns out it isnt. breeding ground for mozzies.
I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye
Wednesday, October 14, 2009 // 7:21 PM
Ah..2 months.
2 months in a whole new world where you're on your own. Funny how situations like these fall on the most unlikely people....like ILIEE! hahaha! But it's all a matter of choice eh?
So anyway, lets take a look. I'm all done packing but still there's a feeling I'll miss out something. That same old feeling that you've forgotten something when packing for a camp or trip. A good starter for this trip was a survival trip with Regu at Ubin!
1) We ate maggi using a chopstick made out of a twig. Made it ourselves.
2) Ate the fish immediately after catching. Washed,gutted and bla3
3) Used a series of spices n herbs...took from the secret garden.hehe
4) Walking around in the dark searching for firewood.
5) Fire lasted from 6pm till 5am next morning!
6) Slept in the open under the stars
Best part of all. Cycled at 5am back to Ubin Jetty. Dark as hell and damn dangerous but where's the fun in all of it if there's no danger eh? At least we had someone who tagged along with us for dark paths....a stray dog. haha.
You guys shd try it. Cycle in the dark at Ubin with only a headlight....JUST WONDERFUL.
2 months in Hanoi. I wonder if people will mistake me as a local. haha. Wouldnt be surprising since even FELLOW SINGAPOREANS mistake me for a foreigner. basket right?
2 months in which bonds and relationships will withstand the test of time. A time for self realization and discovery. Really hope iLiee feels the same way though.
To end off what might be the last post for 2 months (hopefully not)..all the best to all of you!
Stay safe and keep faith
I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye
Monday, October 12, 2009 // 11:35 PM
It takes a leader.
A leader of great quality to bring them to greater heights.
A leader to crush the negativity and bring optimism.
Only the best.
But when they dont have the best, I wonder if they ever complement and make up for it.
I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye
Saturday, October 10, 2009 // 4:59 AM
For every single night of the past few weeks, I've often questioned the ramifications of going to Vietnam and leaving Singapore for 2 months. I started thinking about how life will turn out there and what impact I will have.
On a night like this, where my feelings overpower the fatigue in my body, I just need to get out of my bed and type it all out. So here goes...
I once read a story in Reader's Digest about how this man from the US put in so much effort to save three Vietnamese girls, living in a floating raft as a house (he succeeded in the end). That story got me thinking bout my own life here in Singapore and how life will be when I come back. Zul and myself thought of a community project for the Vietnamese kids there. Since that discussion, I've been getting nightmares of things happening to the kids. Been trying to shut my mind from all that but it still comes to me vividly every night. Once that happens, more unwanted feelings erupt inside.
So in conclusion, I have this naggy feeling that Vietnam will a big trial and a stepping stone of things to come. What sort of trial it is, I won't say it here.
For the first time in this blog...I dunno how to continue so I'll just end off with this...
I guess every single thing I do now will come down to one moment. A moment which defines everything I've done in my life because its what YOU DO that defines you
I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye
Thursday, October 8, 2009 // 10:15 PM
Forced to endure.
But oh well, I'll be far far away by next week!
Impossible is nothing
Pain is temporary
But you choose what is everlasting
I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 // 4:37 AM
So there's gonna be a meeting today.
My advice to you is simple.
Go change out of your misguided sense of leadership and big-headedness before you come. If you cant do, keep your mouth shut later.
We dont need a colleague like you. A colleague and a leader whose main priority is never the people under his leadership.
I spit on your feet.
Go finish your life here and never come back.
We're better off without you. two-face.
I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye
Monday, October 5, 2009 // 11:06 PM
It's all a matter of love.
I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye
// 11:01 PM
PPCDL THEORY TEST PASSED! WHOOOOOHOOOO!!
Just passed as a matter of fact. 26/30. my heartbeat has never gone up to a zillion beats per second when the computer showed my results. phew!
Too bad I'm going Vietnam otherwise i would've got my practical test before end of the year. haiyo.
oh well, at least one hurdle is over.
Here's something I saw on facebook. Azim posted it on his wall. Thought I might share it with all of you.
Day of Judgment - 6 lines When there is only a single star left in the sky. At that very moment, the path of forgiveness will close. The writing in the Quran will vanish. The sun will lower itself with the earth. Prophet Muhammad saw said, 'Who ever delivers this news to someone else, I will on the Day of Judgement make for him a place in Jannat.'
I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye
// 1:45 AM
two days straight of working at the same wedding. exhausted unlike any other day.
Wonder why? it's a national footballer's wedding. Khairul Amri's wedding.
yupp, i got to see the entire national team n FAS officials and bla3. even managed to talk to itimi dickson and john wilkinson.
So anyway, the event was a different one as compared to the previous ones. Mainly because its a different caterer that engaged us in our services.
I better get back to studying. Theory test tmr. haiyo.
I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye
Saturday, October 3, 2009 // 3:20 AM
I've reflected and feel sorry.
Today's highlight was the alumni event at dunman. That event brought me into deep retrospect. Looking back at the school's history and the people that have come and gone, I begin to see a stark contrast between the generations.
Amidst all that, I think about how much seniors before me have struggled to uphold a vision amidst changing times. Quote the phrase.."the teenage phase of one's life is the most challenging of all".Keep that phrase in mind throughout this entire post.
Please do correct me if I'm wrong from here onwards.
Back then in my time, most students were placed in a CCA of their choice. MOST of us got what we chose. However, a certain change has taken place.
I heard that the CCA dept places the able-bodied students into sports or other aesthetics leaving the UGs with the not-so-rugged ones. Does your sec sch do this?
The idea of this scheme is either to create a versatile generation and groom students in different areas OR to give priority to other CCA groups (sometimes to those who are doing very well). Thus the archetype...SUCCESS TO THE SUCCESSFUL.
I strongly disapproved of this method. Why? The UGs were left to struggle for excellence with a less-than-willing bunch of newbies. It seems to be a trend not just in Dunman but other sec schools I've been to so far.
Oh my friends, my glasses were tainted. Amidst all that frustration at the school and blaming everything else, I never realised that the core problem was none other than myself.
I never realised that my own seniors had experienced the same thing but did not stray from their own beliefs. The belief in nurturing leaders, the fact that some things mattered more than just awards,badges or even friendship. They were true servants who never swayed from their duty. You may argue that they aren't so much of a leader but we could say the same for ourselves. No matter how bullshitty the generation was, they strived to make the best out of us.
Somehow in the rush of my life, I lost that sense of integrity and basic leadership. How could someone just return to his alma mater just for the nostalgia or company of friends and forget his own sense of duty? The textbook answer is out there. Worse still, those who came back had agendas that were just plain dishonorable. What is worse than a leader who only thinks of him/herself?
I wasnt promoted to SCI and didnt get the CP award.FOR GOOD REASON!.
It's time to get the priorities right. Understand the true purpose and balance out the core essentials of a leader.
There was so much to be done and I knew what I had to do. But I was too cowardly to be the subject of criticism or blame.
It's all about integrity from now on.
" A servant's focus on the people he/she serves is a must"
I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye
