I STILL CANT LOG INTO FACEBOOK.

So sorry for not replying all the posts there.

Anyway, thank you everyone for all the birthday wishes. honestly.To list down all your names on this blog, for me, would be belittle-ing all the birthday wishes so I'll reply you one by one.

On this birthday though, I've realised how heavily indebted I am to so many people in this world. So for today, my thoughts lie with everyone else except myself. Prayers and blessings

Normally, people dont share birthday wishes but I'd like to share mine.

The wish?

To be a better person for everyone else.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

16 more days to ORD! lol.

Today's prize giving rehearsal was better than I expected. heh.
Tmr's the big day and I hope the kids can really cooperate.

As for the kids in my play, I guess they werent so bad after all. Like many people, you cant expect to be treated with respect immediately after taking over. Among all the others, they're probably the more disciplined and well behaved ones albeit the 2nd youngest group.

Will post more photos here after tmr.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

This post comes after a few times of drafting.

Words have desserted me so here's a song that best matches the feelings.

"In the arms of an angel" by Sarah Mclachlan

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that will make it okay
There's always some reason
To feel not good enough

And its hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Or beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
Or weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of the angel
Far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find
Some comfort here

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It dont make no difference
Escape one last time

Its easier to believe
In this sweet madness
Oh, this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees

In the arms of the angel
Far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find
Some comfort here

You're in the arms of the angel
May you find....

Some comfort here

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Here's something I saw in an article from yesterday's "Vietnam News". It concerns education in Vietnam.

"If the whole point of teaching is to just impart knowledge, then it defeats creativity and knowledge". Something along those lines. The moment I read that line, I knew where I had gone wrong for the past few years.

Today we were temporarily assigned to another centre in Hanoi. Apparently we had to help out the teachers to prepare everything for the prize giving ceremony on 28th Nov. A very prestigious event it seems.

The best part was I'm having to direct a play. Just like old times in drama club raidah! haha!. How nostalgic.

However, there was more than one instance where the teachers had to discipline them. I cant help but feel sorry for both teacher and students. heh. Now I truly understand why many people prefer not to scold. On a much lighter note, its 20 more days till ORD! (heh. act like in NS already)

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Will it be a success or a failure?

We can only work towards either one

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Know that you unknowingly are a source of inspiration
Know that you unknowingly are a pillar of strength for others to hold on to
Know that you unknowingly are the reason people find courage
Know that your presence unknowingly is enough to calm others
Know that you unknowingly move others to take action


Know that you make a BIG difference to others simply because of what you are..even if you do nothing.

You are who you are. And that alone makes you special

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Vietnam wont allow us to log into facebook!

I wonder why

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Today was a fruitful day. Mainly because of what was reminded.

Integrity.

The training executive knocked some sense into me and today's lesson was the best ive taught so far. Felt like a real teacher and learnt from both the students and myself.

On a separate note, I've come to the terms that leadership comes in many forms. The only thing that sets it apart is the direction and the goals which in turn defines the style.

I.e, if you're a leader with an f-ed up vision, then you're more likely (but not entirely) to have plenty of misguidance and be f-ed up yourself. That lesson came from none other than my own groupmate.

Which brings to reminds me of adults whose maturity is lower than that of the kids I teach.

So let me just reiterate to you that

"Leadership is the highest form of service which requires the highest of integrity. Service to others before self and with that in mind, it takes a great deal of modesty, humbleness and self-respect!"

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

"Hold on to faith
Hold on to love
Hold on to whatever you have

Let your own spirit glow with the words you say and the things you do for it takes both to balance.

Shed the material weight of the world. Your own divinity is only if you would embrace its true nature."

Those words may not mean much unless you take it both figuratively and literally. If you do, you might understand these feelings inside me and know that I've revealed one of the secrets to my life. I hope that in some way, it may somehow give to you some meaning or understanding in times of need.

God-given peace. Finally found.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Those nasty posts aside, I was looking through some photos on fb and talking to some people online. All of them were extremely heartening.

They've all starting to grow and really learn much. cultivated values and a great change. Referring to the npcc cadets and CIs, its very heart warming to see some thing changed for the better in the face of adversity and challenge. Last but not least, I hope they embrace the change for better times to come.

Wonder how's things back in singapore. must be sweltering hot and everyone cursing like mad.

--------------

A lvls, npcc, fishing, o lvls, school, elections, projects, NS, religion, soccer and last but not least, graduation. Find yourself up here! =)

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

you got what you deserve

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

What goes around comes around.

Did you ever think about what you did to them was going to end up straight back at you? Now you reap what you sow and its not good looking for help because everyone knows what you did.

It pays to be who you are. It pays to be anything at all.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Growing up. literally and figuratively.

Today was a day of self-realisation. Looking at the people here, its easy for anyone to fall in love with the girls here but one of my objectives of this trip was to be a better person and learn new things that could make things better back home. In a short few weeks, plenty of objectives have been met and others still in the process.

So here's something I'd like to share.

When my group arrived in Hanoi, we were scared (so was I). Fear. Something we all felt but just didnt show. On this day however, things have escalated. Religious questions answered, tests of character and attitude and also courage.

We've managed getting around Hanoi despite the language barriers (a real test of communication!). We've only got lost ONCE
We've done our cooking and washing (HAND WASHING MIND YOU! we NEVER used a washing machine because its spoiled and laundry services are unreliable)
We're all in good health and exercising.
Work has begun to be more challenging and worth the time.
BEING THRIFTY ALSO! After all this time, I've only spent 200 sing dollars!

And lastly, my group has agreed to join in with my sandwich business as part of our major project! I daresay it'll be starting up when we return.

But the best lessons I've learnt are humility and courage. Being humble with the locals, staff, my groupmates (NO flirting also!), placing others before self and the courage to do what is right from what is EASY (and often wrong).

The time here has also allowed me to think more clearly and define future goals without much thought or trepidation is simply wonderful.

As days go by, I'm starting to be certain that my purpose in life is for one ideal and that is simply to serve others. More than half the time, I find pleasure and satisfaction in serving people and find discomfort when being served..even by waiters or cleaners in Singapore.

I guess contributing to something to make it grow for its own good is something that I enjoy more than anything else.(whether its appreciated or not doesnt matter)

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

And so the changes have begun.

A lot of incidents happened today. Some concerned me...others didnt but had as much impact as the other.

I wonder how this will affect my life in Vietnam and future in Singapore.
*something's coming and I can feel it*

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

As days begin to pass more quickly, I find myself slowly losing touch of words to express emotion or thought. Even more so to those I'm close to. It's like feeling words can never do justice to what the soul really intends to say to another. Human nature would say that one would resort to actions but humans being mortals, there is only so much that we can do but STILL feel like something's missing.

At this point, I have to wonder. Are we all fated to eternally chase that one spark in life that makes us complete? That one spark which simply defines our purpose in this world?

Maybe.

And then, the big question looms. What have I done with my life that has made any significant difference?

Nothing.

Guess the internship at Vietnam is giving me the biggest reality check ever. Alot of things done or not done. Words unspoken or spoken.

But I've been granted a chance at mitigation.
Dont get me wrong, things are perfectly fine here but you'd know by now I have exceedingly high expectations of myself.

On a separate note, Friday the 6th happens to be a big day for many of my friends. All the best to all of you! Hopefully all the decisions you have made for yourselves will reflect your greater sides and impact others for the best. Insya-Allah

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

I guess the thalassemia is finally catching up with me eh? after almost 20 years.
well, it wont be a problem. heh. Its manageable.

The events for these past few days have led me to believe. A life long dream maybe fulfilled. Will it come to pass in the future? lets hope so. Insya-Allah. im working on it as best as i can.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

Today, unlike any other day, we went exploring...into the slums. I thought I'd seen what the slums were like in Hanoi during my forages for an english newspaper (heh) but I was wrong. From the night market at north Hanoi, we decided to walk further east to see the Red River before the night ended.

Along the way I saw what was enough to make me feel ashamed of myself. Living quarters similar to those in pre-war Singapore, poor architecture and plenty of makeshift buildings with poor hygiene and hardly any access to clean water (Unlike in Singapore, you cant drink from the taps in Vietnam). But there's no sympathy for the locals because they have their own pride and that sets them apart from anyone else. People always say that the Hanoians are used to struggles and a life of hardship and its underrated.

That's all true but even the children here have taught me a lesson before.

I think I finally understand the true meaning of humility. The true meaning of appreciation. The real feeling of having so many wonderful God-given gifts but not realising its worth until you look back. heh. Its even worse when it comes to teaching. I still remember what one of the "teachers" said to me..

"We're here to prepare these students for scholarships but with the knowledge that we have, we're hardly giving them the proper education that they've paid for"

Guess there's alot of self reflection to do. There's no room for big headedness because there's alot more to learn. Its not a damn holiday or a field trip.

I'll be back when you call me; no need to say goodbye

If we were all the kings and queens
I'd probably be your only servant in this world

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To the people who made all of this possible..CHEERS!

Here, you'll see a side of me never known before

Current read: The divine intervention




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